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01/19/2005: "Get a Long Penis from a Poorly-Targeted E-mail --- NOT!"

I get at least a dozen e-mails daily promising to grow my penis. Well, let the record show, I do not now nor have I ever had a penis. Now I have nothing against the humble penis. I guess some folks have them. But I do not. Therefore, ergo and to wit, I do not need to grow something I do not have.

The point of this sordid tail of penal e-mail? Why the hell don't people send targeted e-mail and direct mail?

Now if someone would offer to take an inch off my butt --- which I DO have --- I might be interested.

Gawd marketers, get a clue.