01/29/2005: "Beware --- Most People are NOT the Decision Maker."

Have you ever been negotiating in a business deal and the person across the table or on the other end of the phone assured you that he is indeed the one and only decision maker? Well, chances are he's lying to you.

People need to feel OK. They need to feel like they have the final authority. But it most cases, they don't. People need to get permission and opinions from friends, spouses, bosses, superintendents, managers, girl friends, boy friends, mamma, papa and a ton of others.

Oh sure, you run into the person from time to time who really is the master of his domain. But he's rare. I'm one of those rare birds who does indeed make every single decision. The exception to that would be if I was in a coma I guess. But most folks either have the emotional need to ask others or the very real need based on their positions in a company --- they must ask permission before they can buy something from you.

It's all about them feeling OK.

So here are some things you can say or ask to handle this problem. You ask them interrogative-led questions.

"Of course you make the decisions. But who else might you want to talk with?"
"Who might be of service in making this decision?"
"Who should we invite to support your decision?"
"Who'd be sorry or upset if we left them out?"
"How will this decision be reached?"
"When will it be reached?"
"What criteria and paperwork must be in place for it to be reached?"

Now remember too that some people will tell you they need to talk to someone else simply to put you off and stall you. People are ashamed and a little scared to say "no" to you --- especially if it's because they can't afford your fee. So they'll do anything to avoid saying the dreaded "no" word.

Remember, when you're dealing with people you're dealing with fragile egos and all sorts of emotions and baggage --- most of which you'll be totally unaware.

So always smoke out the truth in negotiating. Or as much of it as you can. People don't often tell the truth. They color it in shades that make them feel OK about themselves. So go along to get along. But remember too, your job is to close your deals.

So don't let them use you up in the negotiation. Stay on top all the time and you'll win your share of the deals.