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06/04/2006: "82-Year-Old Man in Wheelchair and on Sedation Medication Chases 16-Year-Old Girl"

Young and rather fetching as young girls can be while their stomachs are still flat and other parts less so, the girl was waiting for her mother who was visiting someone in a retirement home. The girl was in the main living area reading a book.

A skinny ancient man in a wheelchair rolled up to her. He began to talk. Being a friendly girl she replied and talked to him. Then he reached over to her and started to reach for things that an old man ought never to reach for on a young girl.

So she ran. She was a good runner because she was an athlete. But the old man was right on her heels --- pushing the wheelchair with strong arms. Finally the girl found her mother who proceeded to use language to the old man that all mothers use when their daughters are threatened. Not pretty language but effective language.

Later the mother found out that the ancient man was 82-years-old and took a very strong drug that slows the body down to a crawl! Well, it’s supposed to.

That young girl was me. I had just had my first lesson in motivation.

I learned early that men . . . all men . . . are motivated by sex.

In my thirties I was pursued by a man for whom I had absolutely no attraction. The man was dying of cancer but he still wanted sex. I didn’t have to physically run from this man but I quietly walked away. I was quite disappointed in this situation because I thought the man was a friend and I was trying to be kind to him because he was ill. But a woman can’t be kind to a man as he mistakes that for something far greater. And no, he didn’t get what he wanted. At least not from me.

When ensconced well into my forties I had an old neighbor man come over to help me with my drapes and he made a pass at me. I told him I would break his legs if he didn’t get the hell out of my house. I feared if I injured him I’d go to jail so I figured it best to extract him from my home.

So what, if anything, does this have to do with copywriting and marketing? Simply this ----- sell to what motivates people.

No, I don’t mean what you think I mean. Shame on you!

How many ads for cars do you see where a pretty young, very thin woman is drapped over the front of the car? These ads are saying, “Buy this car and women will fall all over you.” No, the copy doesn’t say that. The picture says it. It’s implied.

I’m a weight lifter and subscribe to several bodybuilding magazines. I’m always appalled at the way the female bodybuilders are made to look like sex objects and the men like gods but that’s another story. When you look at the ads you see young women hanging onto these fine self-absorbed studs. The hunk is selling supplements, of course.
What does the ad say? “Buy this supplement and you too will have fine young things hanging all over you.” Again, no the copy doesn’t say that. The pictures do.

The way to sell to men, straight or gay, is to promise sex. Now get your mind out of the gutter. I don’t mean it that way either. I mean you promise that what you sell to them will in some way, shape or form lead to more sex in their lives, make them more attractive to their chosen prospective sexual partners.

Want to sell a supplement. Show a fine looking man with six pack abs and add four beauties hanging onto him, looking at him admiringly and you’ll sell the supplement. I guarantee it.

But tell him that the supplement will make him build muscle and burn fat and it might sell a few guys but not many. You’ve got to sell to what really motivates a person. If the man is gay, you sell the gay lifestyle. You just replace the beautiful women with beautiful young men.

Now it doesn’t matter what you sell. You can still use sex to motivate. I sell copywriting. Now how dull is that! But when a man thinks he’ll be more attractive to women if he has money --- which he is --- then he’ll want the best copywriter money can buy. He knows that great copy will give him more money and more money will get him more women or make him attractive to the one or ones he already has. In other words, sex.

Look, I didn’t invent these motivators. I don’t even like them. But that’s the way it is. Men don’t think like women. Women are not motivated by sex.

The highest rate of sexually transmitted disease is now among the elderly! Those naughty senior citizens are doing it all over the place with anyone and everyone. Why? Well, Viagra has done one hell of a selling job. You’ve gotta’ watch out for these old men with a pocket full of blue pills. As Mae West might say if she were alive today, “Is that a blue pill in your pocket or . . . are you just glad to see me?” These old men with the blue pills will be on you like a tick on a dog.

And the old girls figure --- what the hell --- I can’t get preggers anymore and I still enjoy the same things. Why not. If the ol’ boy can get it up, let’s go for it. Well just shame on those old folks! But hey, great marketing.

My point? Sell to what really motivates people. You don’t have to say, “Buy this supplement from me and you’ll get more sexual conquests than you can handle.” But say it in a subtle way, an indirect way.

Oh, I know that people are motivated by lots of things. People are motivated to keep up with the neighbors. They want to eat and drink what the stars and the rich eat and drink. They want to be seen in Abercrombie and Fitch bracelets and shirts because the beautiful people are in these things.

But the real motivator behind it all is sex. At least for men and perhaps some women. I find that women are more motivated by money and security. Women bore of sex easily. And looking at the waddling western women one wonders if they ever exercise any part of their bodies to the extent the sexual act requires. More ass than class, some of these women and many men.

So the bottom line --- no pun intended --- is to sell to what motivates. Don’t come right out and say it. But do it with finesse.

And a final word to you women --- watch the old men in wheelchairs or old men who are dying. They chase until they’re in the ground.

A girl learns early in life to fasten her seat belt . . . ‘cause it’s gonna’ be a bumpy bumpy ride.