Award-winning journalist and freelance copywriter, Susanna K. Hutcheson, presents news, thoughts and ideas on the world of business, marketing, copywriting and much more.

Now it's Cosmetics --- Duh of the Day

I heard today that now we have to watch what cosmetic products we use. Many --- or so they say --- might cause cancer, impotence and a ton of other things. I had been told that Serutox and Botox and some of those could be problems. But this news item included some very common products.

Don't we just get tired of everything being bad for us?


Susanna on 06.23.04 @ 02:34 PM CDT [link]

People Who Take Your Time and Other Obnoxious Shit - 2nd Duh of the Day

He took the time to fill out a request for a quote form and write a rather lengthy reply to my e-mail in which he explained what he needed. So far I liked him. He seemed businesslike and honest. He said he would fill out the creative brief and have it to me "first thing Monday morning."

Monday morning came. Nothing from him. Monday passed. Nothing from him. Okay. So I'm beginning to know I've got a bum here. But I take the time to call him. He sounds sort of funny. You know the sound? Hesitant. Excuses. Lies. If you've been in business as long as I have, you know 'em when you hear 'em.

So he says, "I'll call you 11:00 your time in the morning." Did I believe him. Hell no! But I had to make myself available just in case he was the rare bird who told the truth. Well, as usual, I was right. Gawd, I hate being right all the time! My insights into people seldom fail me.

See, here's the thing. This man, I'll call him Tom so you other copywriters will get it, wasted my time. Now I could have done one hell of a job for him. I could have made money for him. But he was a time-waster. The really bad thing is, I would really have much preferred it if Tom would have told me he had hired someone else or decided not to proceed or that he didn't like the sound of my voice or just go to hell.

But he lied instead. I hate a liar. They steal your time and sometimes even your valuable information if you let them.

Now I don't need any business so badly that I willingly waste my time. See, I've been in business --- this business --- over 30 years. If I never wrote another word, I could live well. So I actually do have better things to do than listen to garbage.

I respect a person who tells the truth --- even if I don't like what he or she says. But hey, all of us in this business have our Toms. Lots of them. Every day.

So this is my second Duh of the Day. I'll tell you more about the interesting people I meet in future updates. And hey, I'll tell you about the good ones too. And there are lots of those. Not enough, unfortunately. But enough to make it all worthwhile.

---------------------
And so he says . . .

Susanna,

Thanks for your quick response and the “creative brief” which I will get filled out over the weekend and back to you first thing Monday morning.
------

Yeah, right. And I've got a bridge . . .


Susanna on 06.22.04 @ 11:26 AM CDT [link]

Bubba's Book (Rant 2) --- Duh of the Day

Today is the day Bubba's book comes out and it's already number one on Amazon. Let me just say this. Compare Bubba to Ronald Reagan. President Reagan would not take his suit coat off in the oval office because he held it in such high regard.

Bubba would not keep his pants on in the oval office as he held it in such low regard.

The book about his life should be called, Opportunities Lost --- Chances Squandered.



Susanna on 06.22.04 @ 08:57 AM CDT [link]

Bubba's Book --- Duh of the Day

Well, Tomorrow the much-awaited book about Bubba by Bubba and for Bubba hits the bookstores. Since I much prefer non-fiction, I'll take a pass thank you very much. Fiction is not my thing. My Gawd, haven't we suffered enough? Don't we know more than we ever wanted to know about this man? And don't we know that whatever the hell he has to say will be --- like most of what he has to say --- damn lies?

I just wish he would go to wherever former, aging presidents go and get the hell out of our sight. Enough of him already. It's time to get on with the 21st century and let his crap lay to rest.

As he and Hillary napped at President Reagan's funeral I heard one commentator say that was the first time Bill and Hillary slept together in years. Probably so. They both are so --- well, white trash and self absorbed.

Hill says the individual does not matter --- only society matters. But to Hill, only the individual of Hill matters. So to hell with Hill and to hell with Bill. If you waste your money on Bubba's book, you must love pure fiction.

It will be a best seller. How gullible --- the American public.

But hey, if you're gonna' buy the book, buy it here.




Susanna on 06.21.04 @ 06:11 AM CDT [link]

The Greatest Political Ad Copy Ever Written

music: Marching band
mood: Upbeat as hell

This is, of course, political season where lies are the staple of the day. Regardless of your
political bent or how you plan to vote (and frankly my dear, I don't give a damn) one thing is for sure.
Copywriters like myself are writing copy to make their clients sound like god-sent angels.

But the best ad copy for a politician ever written, thus far, is the one below. Forget Iran-Contra and everything else. Just see the good. Ah yes --- duh.

The copy:

It's morning again in America.

Today, more men and women will go to work than ever before in our country's history. With interest rates at about half the record highs of 1980, nearly 2,000 families today will buy new homes, more than at any time in the past four years. This afternoon, 6,500 young men and women will be married, and with inflation at less than half of what it was just four short years ago, they can look forward with confidence to the future.

It's morning again in America, and under the leadership of President Reagan our country is prouder and stronger and better. Why would we ever want to return to where we were less than four short years ago?

---

That, the work of the ad hoc Tuesday Team in Reagan's 1984 re-election campaign, is probably the greatest political ad of modern times.

As Advertising Age says about the type of ad, "It worked then -- Reagan trounced Mondale -- and 20 years later it resonates still. No coincidence that half the media were making the same grim pun. Morning in America wasn't just an ad; it was a utopia. And, especially in these troubled times -- when political advertising consists overwhelmingly of ad hominem attacks by liars -- who doesn't want to remember that?"

And so it goes.


Susanna on 06.20.04 @ 06:40 AM CDT [link]

Complaint Letters Get Results

Have you ever wanted to write a complaint letter to a business or someone who you feel has done you a disservice? Haven't we all? But writing an effective complaint letter that doesn't make you sound like a total ass is hard to do!

I have an answer for you. No, I don't want to write one for you. But I can tell you where to download the templates of proven effective, fresh complaint letters.

Instant Complaint Letters are an effective, fast and smart way to quickly get a letter of complaint written and sent to anyone who has done something to you or not done a good job for you.

Grab yours now.


Susanna on 06.19.04 @ 07:19 PM CDT [link]

The importance of Web hosting --- my personal recommendation

I often hear clients and friends discuss web hosting. Many tell of the horrible experiences they have with technical support, hackers and other miserable things. I myself have had more than my share of waiting online for hours only to get cut off and many other things --- including having my Web site broken into.

Well, I've had the pleasure of being with IPowerWeb for several years now and I can tell you it is a pleasure. I have no downtime to speak of. When I need tech support it is there 24/7 on the phone. I usually don't have to wait for tech support.

I get lots of space for a low price and it just gets better. So if you need excellent Web hosting that is dependable, please do check them out. Set up is fast and easy.

If your site is a throw-away or a personal site, good support and uptime isn't that important. But if you depend on your site to earn money for you and to represent your business as I do mine, it is mission-critical. That's when you need a really dependable host. And the fact you can get a host at such reasonable rates is just a real plus and an added bonus!

I just put another one of my sites with them today. I advise you to do the same. That is if your site is important to you.


Susanna on 06.19.04 @ 06:49 AM CDT [link]

Sales Letters are Still a Critical Part of Marketing for Most Businesses

Some folks make the mistake of thinking that direct mail no longer matters. Of course, there are some businesses that are strictly online enterprises and they may not require direct mail. Having said that, even those businesses can very often profit from direct mail by getting people to their Web sites.

For every person who asks me to write their Web site copy, two ask to have direct mail written. Those are usually people who understand the real value of direct mail and have perhaps used it profitably for years.

What matters most in the direct mail package is the offer and what you do to get the letter opened. The greatest sales letter won't make you a dime unless it gets opened.

So consider direct mail when you plan your own marketing. It's the smart thing to do.





Susanna on 06.17.04 @ 05:33 PM CDT [link]

Reporters, Sexism, Ageism, and Stupid Questions --- Duh of the Day

Teresa Heinz Kerry


I was watching a news show yesterday and CBS News Correspondent Byron Pitts was interviewing Teresa Heinz Kerry, wife of the Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry. Now Ms. Heinz Kerry is 65-years-old. The reporter asked her to describe herself and one of the words she used was "sexy".

John Kerry describes his wife as "saucy, sexy and brilliant."

"I mean, I'm cheeky, I'm sexy, whatever," she says. "You know, I've got a lot of life inside."

When Pitts asked how many 65-year-olds call themselves sexy, she smiles slyly and quips: "How many of that age have you asked?"

Now Ms. Heinz-Kerry is a good looking woman. She is indeed what I would call sexy. Why the hell can a man think he's sexy until he's on his death bed but a woman somehow is seen as totally losing all appeal at some particular number like forty or fifty?

People make too much of age. But they also make way too much of a woman's age. Older women are as smart and fun, as good looking and sexy as younger women. Indeed, they are often much more so. I hope when I'm 65 I look as good and have as much fire as Ms. Heinz-Kerry and I wish the same for my younger sisters.

And you stupid reporters looking for a sound bit --- find a topic that has "real" value and makes some sense. The president elected in 2008 is apt to be a women and she is apt to be sixty or over. So get over it!
Susanna on 06.17.04 @ 06:42 AM CDT [link]

Spy On Your Neighbor’s Political Donations

I'm always looking to find out all the information I can about everything and everyone. You are too don't you? With this political donation neighbor search you can garner lots of useful info like who gave to who - it doesn't get any better than that. You can search for donataions to presidential candidates based on zip code or last name. So far, I have found ten people I actually know… and it's lots of fun. This money map (which I believe I saw in the Atlantic Monthly recently too), is also viral, also interesting.


Susanna on 06.16.04 @ 07:47 PM CDT [link]

Welcome to DuhBlog

Okay. I finally caved in and started a blog. Now what I plan to do is keep you up-to-date on everything from my cats, dogs and diet to the wonderful world of marketing and advertising. Just whatever is on my mind at any given time.

Like the client who was unhappy with my work. The first thing a client blames is the copy and the copywriter. But in fact, this client didn't follow my advice so he was bound to fail. Now that's just not a good thing. See, the thing is, when you hire someone who is a professional, you have to follow their advice or you won't get good results.

In this particular case, the copy would have worked great if he would have kept the price and offer the way I suggested to him. Some clients think they know best.

If you go to the doctor and need medicine but don't take it, you don't get well. So it is with your copywriter. Do what he or she suggests. Hell, that's what you're paying for. But if you don't take their advice and you don't get good results --- don't come crying to your copywriter. Ain't his fault McGee.
Susanna on 06.16.04 @ 07:13 PM CDT [link]

Really cool site to save you time and trouble

I heard about a really great site today. I was listening to the Neal Boortz show (hate him half the time but listen anyway) and he mentioned that he had discovered this site. You know how you want to go to a site like The New York Times or Washington Post or LA Times or one of a thousand others that require you to register before you can read?

Well, now you can go to one site, pick up a login name and password and read away! Really cool.

The site is http://www.bugmenot.com.

Give it a try.
Susanna on 06.16.04 @ 07:00 PM CDT [link]