It's a Funny Life . . . Jokes and Funny Things that Happen to Real People. Jokes of all sorts - updated frequently.
We enjoy jokes because they make us laugh. And laughing really is the best medicine. Nothing takes the blues away as quickly as a good belly laugh when someone tells us something funny or tells us an amusing joke. Perhaps they're senseless but they have a valuable purpose. Laughing simply is good for us. So let's laugh. Let's have fun. Let's hear or read something funny. Let's get the joke now.
By the way, the owner of this site does not necessarily condone any particular joke or thought on this page and we do not intentionally put up any jokes which may be offensive to anyone. We get a live feed and the jokes are updated daily in some cases. So return often.
Yo momma is so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds.
Yo momma is so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds.
A doctor, a lawyer and a manager were discussing the relative merits of havin...
A doctor, a lawyer and a manager were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress. The lawyer says: "For sure a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems."The doctor says: "It's better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and is good for your health."The manager says: "You're both wrong. It's best to have both so that when the wife thinks you're with the mistress and the mistress thinks you're with your wife - you can go to the office and do some work.
A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of ...
A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but didn't want to pay the high prices.After unsuccessfully haggling with of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde said, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price."Later in the day, the shopkeeper spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. She took aim at an alligator, killed it and hauled it onto the swamp bank.Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blonde flipped the alligator on its back and shouted in frustration, "Damn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either."
What do blondes and spaghetti have in common?
What do blondes and spaghetti have in common?They both wriggle when you eat them.
Why did they stop the leper hockey game?
Why did they stop the leper hockey game?There was a face off in the corner.
What should you do if you girlfriend starts smoking?
What should you do if you girlfriend starts smoking?Slow down and use a lubricant.
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?Run like hell ... she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. ...
A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: "Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"¯The voice from the other side responded: "You fool; you've dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?""No"¯ replied the trainee."It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot"¯The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who you are talking to, you idiot?"¯"No!"¯ replied the Managing Director angrily."Thank God!...
How does a blonde kill a fish?
How does a blonde kill a fish?She drowns it ...
Yo momma is so fat, when she plays football she plays offense and defense.
Yo momma is so fat, when she plays football she plays offense and defense.
Lemon Picking
The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon
grove seemed way too qualified for the job.
"Look Miss," said the foreman, "have you any
actual experience in picking lemons?"
"Well... as a matter if fact, Yes!" she replied.
"I've been divorced three times."
Cynical Meanings
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with
fire at one end and a fool on the other.
Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from
the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the
students without passing through "the minds of
either."
Conference: The co
Funny puns
* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it
hit me.
* He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out
how the Mercedes bends.
* Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
* A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.
* He wears glasses during math because it improv
Funny puns set 2
* Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one
of them was a-salted.
* Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut
off? He's all right now.
* When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.
* It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
* Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground.
* When the waiter spilled a drink on his shirt, he said,
"this one is on me."
Past Stories
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