It's a Funny Life . . . Jokes and Funny Things that Happen to Real People. Jokes of all sorts - updated frequently.
For the funniest jokes on the net, grab this now.
We enjoy jokes because they make us laugh. And laughing really is the best medicine. Nothing takes the blues away as quickly as a good belly laugh when someone tells us something funny or tells us an amusing joke. Perhaps they're senseless but they have a valuable purpose. Laughing simply is good for us. So let's laugh. Let's have fun. Let's hear or read something funny. Let's get the joke now.
By the way, the owner of this site does not necessarily condone any particular joke or thought on this page and we do not intentionally put up any jokes which may be offensive to anyone. We get a live feed and the jokes are updated daily in some cases. So return often.
[CaRP] XML error: junk after document element at line 2
Microsoft's Answer
Vista is not the answer. Vista is the question. "No" is the answer.
Smoking on the Bus
I am on a bus. The driver announces that smoking is prohibited and punishable by a fine of several hundred dollars. Suddenly, a baby starts crying.
"Come on kid, you're only 6-months-old, you can make it without a cigarette."
Nymphomaniac
The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office.
"What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked.
"Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac."
"I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour."
"That's not bad," she replied.
Solving the Problem
A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents."
Past Stories
Political Joke
Posted by J R B.
Presidential candidates Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John McCain were flying to a debate.
Barack looked at Hillary, Chuckled and said, 'You know I could throw a $1,000 bill . . .
Humor for Today 5/16
Posted by J R B.
Breakfast Special
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the special was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99.
"The special sounds good," my wife said. "But . . .
Qantas Airlines: Author Unknown
Posted by Craig Olson
The author, who was probably a Qantas employee, had a good reason to be anonymous. He probably would have been fired if he got caught writing this.
Remember it takes a college degree to fly . . .
Apology to a Friend
Posted by Eryne d.
I recently have gotten into trouble for hanging out and caring for a very dear friend of mine. I am so very sorry that these things have happened. Though I cannot say his/her name, he/she . . .
here some funnies,,,,
Posted by Steph-in-NE .....
Here are some funnie from a paper i got in the doctors office,,
LOCAL BUMPER STCIKER::
Why are you driving me crazy, when you know it is only walking distance..
Tail Wacker( for all the . . .
A Little Redneck Humor
Posted by Lesli B.
Top ten indicators that a redneck has been working on your computer.
10. The monitor is up on blocks.
9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.
8. The six front keys have rotted out. . . .
Sheriff's Car LOL
Posted by Lesli B.
The Kern County, California, Sheriff's Department orders plain white
patrol units and has the graphics applied locally.
In this case, what they ordered was . . .
Nagging Mothers
Posted by Tony P.
Mothers are wonderful people, they take care of us for so many years, but sometimes, just sometimes, as we get older and mature, have kids of ourt own, develop our own life skills and experiences, they . . .
10 Comments To The First Person To Explain This
Posted by Tony P.
YYUR
YYUB
ICUR
YY4ME
This is something my grandmother taught me when I was quite small.
I will give 10 comments to the first person who can tell me what it means.
I did post it to . . .
Humor for Today 5/13
Posted by J R B.
The Coat Hanger
A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her small daughter was very sick with a fever.
She left her work and stopped by the . . .
The Greatest Men of All Time?
Posted by Craig Olson
One of these men was knighted by the Queen. . . .
Monster Collage
Posted by Craig Olson
I know it is a little early for Halloween, but I like monsters.
. . .
Oy, Vey!
Posted by Jackie Papandrew
I was in a public restroom the other day, doing what one does in such places, when I realized that civilization - even the fairly savage form of civilization that has existed since Janet Jackson's . . .
Beware of Quacks to Help you with Tax, 100 Word Stories, Prompt 14, non-chall...
Posted by Elsie Duggan
Now what I want is facts
Everyone, please relax
get your brain speed up to max
Keep your thoughts on track
don't be putting on any acts
or slip down any cracks . . .
Fractured Psychiatry
Posted by Craig Olson
Examples of mania are shown below:
Examples of personality disorder are shown below: . . .
WHO'S YOUR SPOUSE-BOB SQUAREPANTS???..........
Posted by BERF ..
If for some insane and totally ridiculous reason (like an article written by me, for example), you had to compare your husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend to one of the characters on the Spongebob . . .
Humor for Today 5/10
Posted by J R B.
Christopher's class was having an English
lesson, and the teacher called on Christopher
to recite a sentence with a direct object.
Christopher stood and thought, then said, . . .
History Is a Mystery
Posted by Craig Olson
General Custer died wearing an Arrow shirt. ************************************************************************************ Custer's last words were, "I should have stayed in bed . . .
Fractured History
Posted by Craig Olson
Art History
Van Gogh killed himself because his paintings wouldn't sell. ****************************************************************************** Touloose Lautrek had girlfriends . . .
They Walk Among Us: Author Unknown
Posted by Craig Olson
I worked for half those people and worked with the other half.
They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail I was at the . . .
Humor for Today 5/9
Posted by J R B.
Cowboy Joe Goes To Church
Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church.
"When I got there, they had me . . .
The World's Worst Hypochondriac
Posted by Craig Olson
Introduction
Unfortunately this is based on an actual person.
1. She went to the emergency room for a boo-boo.
2. The only times she's not complaining is when she's eating and . . .
: )? Jokes Of The Day 5/8 ?( ' 'Sorry, but I ? you all !
Posted by Randee Court Jester of LaLa Land. where it's always 85º and sunny
Well here are some jokes and funny thoughts that I just got from ole Scottee, my little (hahaha) brother...he's really like 3 times my size....these are for you here ....
?
? . . .
Chess: Steinitz Was the Finest
Posted by Craig Olson
Introduction
Jon Edwards has a website called "Chess Is Fun". This is my favorite of many wonderful chess websites on the Internet. This is not the one who ran for President. This . . .
Modern Art History
Posted by Craig Olson
When Andy Warhol painted cans of tomato soup and boxes of brillo pads, the art critics reacted.
****************************************************************************** . . .
They Made a Big Splash: Author Unknown
Posted by Craig Olson
A local priest and a minister stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" They planned to hold up the sign . . .
Brain Surgery by Sarah Bellum and Sir Rebrum
Posted by Craig Olson
Bill Gates had a bad day. He only made a million dollars.
Worst Seller List
1. Ruling Egypt by Mia Farrow.
2. Don't Fence Me In by Barb Wire. . . .
Humor for Today
Posted by J R B.
Little Secrets
A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.
. . .
Tough Love
Posted by Lesli B.
Most of America's populace thinks it very improper to spank children as was the preferred method of yesteryear.
I recently tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of "those . . .
Inner Peace
Posted by Lesli B.
I am passing this on to you because we all could use a little more calmness in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on the Dr. Phil Show, I have finally found inner peace.
Dr. Phil proclaimed, . . .
|
